So I'm the first person to admit I don't know all that much about auto racing. I'm learning but still, there's a lot I don't know. I will hold my chin up high and admit that. Because learning about something new, generally considered a good thing and I'm getting there. I am. I've only really been caring for the last 4 years or so, really got into last year, so this is all new and I'm well aware that I am that dreaded word...a newbie.
But I do know sports, I do know life, I do know that if you're not coming in dead last, you're clearly not the worst person out there. And I do know that even if you do come in last...you deserve some respect for trying.
Now more to the point, a certain person (and really not only that certain person, a few certain persons over the last few months) have attacked Patrick Dempsey as a race car driver.
And that leaves me with one question...what the fuck?
The person this weekend said that the reason Dempsey Racing qualified so high was because Patrick Dempsey wasn't there (he was off shooting Grey's...which makes me happy and sad all at once). Now, in fairness to said person, we don't actually know if he was saying what other people were saying or if this was his own personal opinion but either way...how does anyone know that? How can anyone actually just make that kind of statement when they clearly have nothing to back it up?
Has Paddy ever qualified second? Well no. Of course last season the team never even qualified in the top 10, and this season it was their first time on the track so we have no idea exactly how Patrick Dempsey would have performed on that track. He may have come in 2nd, he may have come in 10th, he may have come in dead last. No one has any way of knowing because every race and every track and every situation is different (which is one of the things I love most about racing actually). So to just make that blanket statement, that kind of attitude confuses me. It really does.
Because what we do know is Patrick Dempsey is a good driver, who keeps improving.
No, he has never qualified the car in 2nd place before but he has done well. He qualifies the car in a position that is ready for the team to slip into the top ten easily and early on, something he has usually accomplished by the time they do the driver change during the race. He gets the car where it needs to be so Joe can bring it home. He moves the car up in positions. This isn't a situation where he drives the first half hour and gets the car far behind to make Joe catch up, this isn't that at all. He drives laps at a competitive speed, he stays out of trouble, he races a good race. His best qualifying is 9th, which yes, it's not 2nd, but it's hardly something that deserves the insults and attacks I have seen on him as a driver. He has not done nothing so bad that it justifies saying the team only does well when he's not there...considering the fact their best finish with him there was 6th place, compared to 4th this past weekend. I'm just...insulted and flabbergasted that anyone could act like he's a dead weight that drags the team down.
Yeah, we qualified better because Joe is the stronger driver of the two, I don't think anyone would deny that. But Patrick Dempsey has been doing this for what? 6 years? Joe Foster has been doing it for 25. He should be the stronger driver of the two.
As far as I'm concerned, Patrick Dempsey should be being praised for what he's done in such a short time. He may not be the best driver out there but considering the fact he didn't grow up in a race car, that this is all pretty new to him, he's been doing pretty great. Especially since he doesn't have nearly as much time as most of the other racers to practice and train considering his insane schedule with the family, the show, the movies and the cancer center. And yet, he manages to find the time to train hard and work hard and become better. And most people, the actual experts, agree, he's getting better and better. That hard work, that dedication and the passion, that is what should be being talked about, not the fact he's not the best. He's getting there, he's working hard and he's getting there. I have nothing but respect for what he's done, and even if he was coming in dead last, I'd still respect that because at least he's trying, which is more than some people ever do.
No one would be saying this if he wasn't who he is...a movie star, television star and one of the sexiest men alive...if he was a nobody who just happened to love driving, no one would be saying this and that makes saying it...completely wrong.
Not to mention...I'm sure none of the people with their keyboard courage would even say any of this to his face. No. If they got to be anywhere near him...they'd kiss his ass and tell him everything that he wanted to hear. No they stick to the safety of the internet...blogs, boards, and it's just...it's wrong.
The man has worked his ass off. The man does a great job. The man deserves a little respect.
And on a side note...I have nothing but love for Joe Foster making it clear that the team would have done better across the board if Paddy had been there, if Paddy's energy had been there. Because Patrick Dempsey is a huge part of what makes Dempsey Racing what it is, his spirit and enthusiasm and passion and I'm sure all felt it missing this weekend so I'm happy Joe had the balls to stick up for his co-driver/friend and say it. *Sigh* I really do love Joe.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Would you just shut up?
I think the saddest statement that can be made about the world we live in is the statement that people are making in DEFENCE of attacking people on twitter. And not just any people on twitter, people who write the tv shows they claim to love. I'm not even sure what that says about people. It honest to god worries me that this world is becoming this place, where attacking isn't only done but it's later on defended.
Bullying and harassing and insulting is NOT okay. What has the internet done to society that it's now apparently accepted that if you are brave enough to put your writing out there, you should put up with personal insults? How is that okay? How does that even sound okay? It makes me wonder if this is what people like Perez Hilton have done to the world, that insulting someone famous is okay because well they put themselves out there for it. These people chased a dream that's really hard to attain, they worked hard, they put their hearts and souls into things, and what they get in return is insults and attacks on twitter and blogs. Can someone tell me what in this equation actually sounds right?
And don't pretend it's okay to do it to writers because it happens to other celebrities all the time...that doesn't make it right, that just means it's wrong in that case too. (Side note...as I've already been accused of being a hypocrite as god know I'm vocal about my dislike of a certain Grey's actress. I have NEVER actually insulted her. I have said I do not like her acting. I am not impressed by some of her off stage antics such as bad mouthing her own movies and going public with her desire for a better plot...but I have NEVER insulted her.)
There's a difference between criticism and insults. Most writers I know THRIVE on criticism. I know personally when I get a review of someone telling me what they didn't like and why, I'm excited. It can make me a better writer. A while ago someone commented on a fic of mine saying I used the term "Or something" too much in that update, and let me tell you, the next update I watched myself for that and have been doing so ever since. So thank you to the person that said that. Someone saying they don't understand why a character made a certain choice, someone saying they dont like a certain plot and explaining WHY, that is amazing to hear. It means that people are paying attention, it means they care enough to want to help you improve. I have never stumbled upon a writer that didn't welcome some kind of criticism of their work. It's the only way to improve.
But when someone just insults your work on no basis, or even worse, insults you personally, that's not called for. In no world should that be considered okay. They are not putting themselves out there to be insulted and the fact that there's people in this world that think that that's acceptable behaviour makes me sick.I'm sure Shonda and Co didn't expect everyone to love the Post it note or Dead Denny. I'm sure they expected responses saying "I don't think that made sense" or "I'm just tired of Denny" and "Why can't Mer/Der make it really official?". But when it goes past that, that becomes a problem.
And as for the people defending those attacks, as someone said on the ABC boards the other day, they're blaming the victim. These people are coming out and saying that attacks are okay because the writer is on twitter and putting themselves out there. Does that not sound absurd to anyone else? Krista Vernoff has been defending herself on twitter, asking people to stop with the insults and people are acting like she's the one in the wrong. Yes, she has a job because of the fans but how does that equal her putting up with personal insults because of something she wrote? I honestly wonder if people sit back and consider the fact that these writers are REAL people with REAL feelings. And saying they should sit back and take the insults, to me is the equivalent of telling a kid that they should just take being bullied because they have to go to school every day, or telling a woman being sexually harassed to put up with it because she wore a skirt to work. NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HARASSMENT.
As for the other stuff I have seen fans doing on twitter, the demanding explanations as to why something happened, the non-stop posts by some asking for something that the writer may not even be able to give, the people that are expecting Shonda (or any other tv writer) to give them what they want...that's not right either. I have seen so many people say "But why doesn't Shonda write what we want to see?" Who is this we? In no way should the writers pander to the fans. Listen to their opinions? Yes. But their main concern should be staying true to the story they want to tell and the characters they created. While we don't always like it, Grey's has done a very good job at that. To me that's what marks a good writer, not whether or not they give the fans every single thing they want. At the end of the day, a writers job is to tell a story. If you like it, that's great but if you don't, that's not on the writer. They for no reason should have to defend what they did, explain what they did, give you answers to every single question you may have. That is not their job. it is not their job to write what YOU want to see. It is their job to write the show. Simple as that.
As for all the misleading and other complaints...it's part of the game. It's part of the world. Shonda said it was Mer/Der's wedding day but she refused to say if they would get married. People all over buzzed about would they/wouldn't they. Shonda's job is done. Shonda didn't do it to be rude, she didn't do it because she doesn't respect the fans, she did it to make people talk about the show. I know I for one had numerous conversations with friends whether or not I thought they were actually going to do it. I know I heard numerous casual fans talk about it in depth (I also haven't heard one casual fan complain about the bait and switch). if she had said "Oh well they give their wedding to Alex/Izzie" the buzz would have been much lower. I understand why it's annoying. It's never fun to anticipate one thing and not get it. I'm still angry at the Bones people for "Booth and Bones sleep together at the end of the season" and then it being a dream. But it's the nature of the beast and Shonda is hardly the only show runner to do it, she's hardly the show runner who started it. It's not going to stop. Any form of advertisement since the beginning of time has had some form of misleading info in it. You don't have to take it so personally.
The only other misleading thing...the whole "I want my money back from the charities I gave to for two fictional characters on their fictional wedding day"...I'm not addressing that. Because I don't think I even want to consider what kind of person gets angry about giving to a charity. I hope one day they all wake up and realize they're crap people.
Yes, this is long and rambling...but as someone who has been personally insulted numerous times (called a whore, told I didn't deserve to live...) because of my fanfiction I know what it feels like to put something out there and be attacked because of it. My best friend/writing partner and I have left boards to get away from it because it takes all the joy out of writing. The Grey's writers can't switch to get away from it. And they shouldn't have to avoid twitter because of it. So yeah, I get long and rambling defending them and any other writer.
Simply put, if you don't like what's on the screen, take a deep breath and look at the remote. It's usually at the top, a tiny little button that says "Power". Turn the tv off.
Whatever happened to if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all?
Bullying and harassing and insulting is NOT okay. What has the internet done to society that it's now apparently accepted that if you are brave enough to put your writing out there, you should put up with personal insults? How is that okay? How does that even sound okay? It makes me wonder if this is what people like Perez Hilton have done to the world, that insulting someone famous is okay because well they put themselves out there for it. These people chased a dream that's really hard to attain, they worked hard, they put their hearts and souls into things, and what they get in return is insults and attacks on twitter and blogs. Can someone tell me what in this equation actually sounds right?
And don't pretend it's okay to do it to writers because it happens to other celebrities all the time...that doesn't make it right, that just means it's wrong in that case too. (Side note...as I've already been accused of being a hypocrite as god know I'm vocal about my dislike of a certain Grey's actress. I have NEVER actually insulted her. I have said I do not like her acting. I am not impressed by some of her off stage antics such as bad mouthing her own movies and going public with her desire for a better plot...but I have NEVER insulted her.)
There's a difference between criticism and insults. Most writers I know THRIVE on criticism. I know personally when I get a review of someone telling me what they didn't like and why, I'm excited. It can make me a better writer. A while ago someone commented on a fic of mine saying I used the term "Or something" too much in that update, and let me tell you, the next update I watched myself for that and have been doing so ever since. So thank you to the person that said that. Someone saying they don't understand why a character made a certain choice, someone saying they dont like a certain plot and explaining WHY, that is amazing to hear. It means that people are paying attention, it means they care enough to want to help you improve. I have never stumbled upon a writer that didn't welcome some kind of criticism of their work. It's the only way to improve.
But when someone just insults your work on no basis, or even worse, insults you personally, that's not called for. In no world should that be considered okay. They are not putting themselves out there to be insulted and the fact that there's people in this world that think that that's acceptable behaviour makes me sick.I'm sure Shonda and Co didn't expect everyone to love the Post it note or Dead Denny. I'm sure they expected responses saying "I don't think that made sense" or "I'm just tired of Denny" and "Why can't Mer/Der make it really official?". But when it goes past that, that becomes a problem.
And as for the people defending those attacks, as someone said on the ABC boards the other day, they're blaming the victim. These people are coming out and saying that attacks are okay because the writer is on twitter and putting themselves out there. Does that not sound absurd to anyone else? Krista Vernoff has been defending herself on twitter, asking people to stop with the insults and people are acting like she's the one in the wrong. Yes, she has a job because of the fans but how does that equal her putting up with personal insults because of something she wrote? I honestly wonder if people sit back and consider the fact that these writers are REAL people with REAL feelings. And saying they should sit back and take the insults, to me is the equivalent of telling a kid that they should just take being bullied because they have to go to school every day, or telling a woman being sexually harassed to put up with it because she wore a skirt to work. NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HARASSMENT.
As for the other stuff I have seen fans doing on twitter, the demanding explanations as to why something happened, the non-stop posts by some asking for something that the writer may not even be able to give, the people that are expecting Shonda (or any other tv writer) to give them what they want...that's not right either. I have seen so many people say "But why doesn't Shonda write what we want to see?" Who is this we? In no way should the writers pander to the fans. Listen to their opinions? Yes. But their main concern should be staying true to the story they want to tell and the characters they created. While we don't always like it, Grey's has done a very good job at that. To me that's what marks a good writer, not whether or not they give the fans every single thing they want. At the end of the day, a writers job is to tell a story. If you like it, that's great but if you don't, that's not on the writer. They for no reason should have to defend what they did, explain what they did, give you answers to every single question you may have. That is not their job. it is not their job to write what YOU want to see. It is their job to write the show. Simple as that.
As for all the misleading and other complaints...it's part of the game. It's part of the world. Shonda said it was Mer/Der's wedding day but she refused to say if they would get married. People all over buzzed about would they/wouldn't they. Shonda's job is done. Shonda didn't do it to be rude, she didn't do it because she doesn't respect the fans, she did it to make people talk about the show. I know I for one had numerous conversations with friends whether or not I thought they were actually going to do it. I know I heard numerous casual fans talk about it in depth (I also haven't heard one casual fan complain about the bait and switch). if she had said "Oh well they give their wedding to Alex/Izzie" the buzz would have been much lower. I understand why it's annoying. It's never fun to anticipate one thing and not get it. I'm still angry at the Bones people for "Booth and Bones sleep together at the end of the season" and then it being a dream. But it's the nature of the beast and Shonda is hardly the only show runner to do it, she's hardly the show runner who started it. It's not going to stop. Any form of advertisement since the beginning of time has had some form of misleading info in it. You don't have to take it so personally.
The only other misleading thing...the whole "I want my money back from the charities I gave to for two fictional characters on their fictional wedding day"...I'm not addressing that. Because I don't think I even want to consider what kind of person gets angry about giving to a charity. I hope one day they all wake up and realize they're crap people.
Yes, this is long and rambling...but as someone who has been personally insulted numerous times (called a whore, told I didn't deserve to live...) because of my fanfiction I know what it feels like to put something out there and be attacked because of it. My best friend/writing partner and I have left boards to get away from it because it takes all the joy out of writing. The Grey's writers can't switch to get away from it. And they shouldn't have to avoid twitter because of it. So yeah, I get long and rambling defending them and any other writer.
Simply put, if you don't like what's on the screen, take a deep breath and look at the remote. It's usually at the top, a tiny little button that says "Power". Turn the tv off.
Whatever happened to if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all?
Monday, June 15, 2009
The race on sacred ground
(I will preface this in saying that I know I said I was going to write much much much sooner but well that's me for you...and I'd say sorry but work has been busy and I've been working on like a billion short stories and fics at once so these things happen, but I am blogging now...about important shit)
Okay, so sometimes, sometimes there's a day or night so big that you need to write about it. That you need to write down every single detail because for some reason you're pretty sure that it MUST have changed something, because there is no way something that BIG happened and nothing ended up changing. That just doesn't make sense. So writing, you have to write and record and put your mark on it or...something.
The Saturday and Sunday of Le Mans were that kind of big.
The freaking 24 Hours at Le Mans has to be THAT big.
I wish I knew how to start this. Generally I'm excellent with words, I know this but this was...it was what it was. That's all I can think to say, it was what it was. And I don't feel the need to discuss details of the actual race. You can find those in articles or you saw the race and you know, that's not important.
What was important was what really happened.
(side note in case you don't know me...I was cheering for Team Seattle, god I was cheering for Team Seattle)
And what happened was the team that started in dead last (or "last pole" as some put it), the team that people thought shouldn't even be there, finished the race. Not only did they finish the race (which would have been a huge victory in itself) but they ran a perfect race. They didn't spin off, they didn't crash, the car didn't have any major issues, they ran a clean race. And because of it...they didn't only finish, they finished in the top 10 in their class. They started in 17th and ended in 9th. They finished 30th out of 55 in the entire race.
If all of that wasn't amazing enough, they also raised 258,000 dollars for the children's hospitals in Seattle and France while doing so.
And all of that was completely amazing.
But I'm pretty sure what I loved most of all was everything that it really really meant. What was the really important part of the 9th place finish...
Because we live in a world of can't. When you're little they tell you you can do anything and be anything but the second you get older it becomes "No, that's too big" and "That's impossible" and so many people were saying that about this team, especially Patrick Dempsey. That he didn't have any wins under his belt, that he was just a celebrity who was only in the race because of that. And I got it, I did. But at the same time, they had every right to be there. They had every right to ignore all of the "I can't"s and just...do. Because they finished their practice laps, they met the required speed to run the race. They had earned their spot just as much as every other team there. Maybe they were inexperienced and maybe they were in over their heads, but as far as I'm concerned, that's how life should be lived...you should be in a little over your head because where's the fun in living in a comfort zone? So these three guys, none of them with any Le Mans experience of any kind before, one who hasn't even been racing all that long, went and did it. They did it regardless of all the can'ts and don't and I think something needs to be said for that.
I also think something needs to be said to all those people who were saying can't and don't...something about how they're idiots and they need to learn to keep their mouths shut and...let people chase what they want and let people try to live their dreams. Basically I think the people with all the can'ts and don'ts should just be told to go fuck off.
Okay, so sometimes, sometimes there's a day or night so big that you need to write about it. That you need to write down every single detail because for some reason you're pretty sure that it MUST have changed something, because there is no way something that BIG happened and nothing ended up changing. That just doesn't make sense. So writing, you have to write and record and put your mark on it or...something.
The Saturday and Sunday of Le Mans were that kind of big.
The freaking 24 Hours at Le Mans has to be THAT big.
I wish I knew how to start this. Generally I'm excellent with words, I know this but this was...it was what it was. That's all I can think to say, it was what it was. And I don't feel the need to discuss details of the actual race. You can find those in articles or you saw the race and you know, that's not important.
What was important was what really happened.
(side note in case you don't know me...I was cheering for Team Seattle, god I was cheering for Team Seattle)
And what happened was the team that started in dead last (or "last pole" as some put it), the team that people thought shouldn't even be there, finished the race. Not only did they finish the race (which would have been a huge victory in itself) but they ran a perfect race. They didn't spin off, they didn't crash, the car didn't have any major issues, they ran a clean race. And because of it...they didn't only finish, they finished in the top 10 in their class. They started in 17th and ended in 9th. They finished 30th out of 55 in the entire race.
If all of that wasn't amazing enough, they also raised 258,000 dollars for the children's hospitals in Seattle and France while doing so.
And all of that was completely amazing.
But I'm pretty sure what I loved most of all was everything that it really really meant. What was the really important part of the 9th place finish...
Because we live in a world of can't. When you're little they tell you you can do anything and be anything but the second you get older it becomes "No, that's too big" and "That's impossible" and so many people were saying that about this team, especially Patrick Dempsey. That he didn't have any wins under his belt, that he was just a celebrity who was only in the race because of that. And I got it, I did. But at the same time, they had every right to be there. They had every right to ignore all of the "I can't"s and just...do. Because they finished their practice laps, they met the required speed to run the race. They had earned their spot just as much as every other team there. Maybe they were inexperienced and maybe they were in over their heads, but as far as I'm concerned, that's how life should be lived...you should be in a little over your head because where's the fun in living in a comfort zone? So these three guys, none of them with any Le Mans experience of any kind before, one who hasn't even been racing all that long, went and did it. They did it regardless of all the can'ts and don't and I think something needs to be said for that.
I also think something needs to be said to all those people who were saying can't and don't...something about how they're idiots and they need to learn to keep their mouths shut and...let people chase what they want and let people try to live their dreams. Basically I think the people with all the can'ts and don'ts should just be told to go fuck off.
And about those dreams...Joe started dreaming of racing Le Mans when he was a kid. He's in his 40s now...it had been a dream he held on to for that long. Patrick...okay, well I'm not 100% sure when exactly it became a dream for him because the man seems to have had a lot of golas in his life but it was a dream. And Don had a dream of using auto racing to make a difference, to raise money for a cause that was important to him and god, he did that. And that weekend, all of them got to live out that dream. The worked their asses off, they trained hard, stretched themselves thin to afford it, and they lived out a dream. They all...lived out a dream. The whole thing screamed the message of not giving up on dreams, it screamed that maybe that thing you wanted to do when you were young is still possible. It was amazing to witness.
So in short...were they partially invited because of who Patrick Dempsey is? Maybe. God knows he brings lots and lots of attention. But why he was asked shouldn't take away from what they did. They ran one of the hardest road races in the world and finished it. They did amazingly well for a team of three rookies. They raised a crap load of money in the process. And they lived out their dreams and shut up all the naysayers in the process. That has to be SOMETHING. That has to mean SOMETHING.
Nothing should take away from how inspirational it was, how amazing and inspirational watching them do this was. Patrick's star power shouldn't take away from the amazing feat they accomplished or how much power it has to inspire.
Because it was inspirational.
It made me want to sit down and write. Because if they can race Le Mans, I can get a novel published.
The entire 24 hours is something I never want to forget.
And a quick note about MY experience. Well...in the midst of this amazing, inspirational, exciting, nerve wracking, adrenaline pumping race, I managed to make new friends. I have no idea exactly how it happened or what time it happened at (because god, time gets fuzzy around 4 am) but it did. I started tweeting about the race when it started...and found other girls that were tweeting too. And we bonded, we shared and bonded. In the wee hours of the morning, when sleep would have come so easily (okay, that may be a lie as I think I was far too pumped by it all to even think about laying down) we kept each other up. We cheered together and something about it was so...bonding and memorable and we all share those memories and will forever. I love my Dempsey Dolls.
(And I know this took forever to get up and now this race is almost old news but the week after the race work kicked my ass...7 days in a row AFTER an all nighter is kinda deadly...and then I got caught up with writing other things but it's here now and I'm almost happy I waited because I got to see the way Patrick and Joe drove at Mid-Ohio...with a new found confidence and speed and passion that made the whole entire thing that much more).
Okay, I'm done rambling now. And I'm sure this isn't my best writing yet because it was written in so many intervals but there it is. Finally. My Le Mans blog.
(And I swear, I'll blog more often...seriously)
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Wedding vows on a post it note ftw
So last year after the Grey's Anatomy season finale in a drunken state my best friend and I decided to write a fic based on Season 5. Or well...our version of season 5. And this year...well I don't think I'm drunk, just feeling good, and we just started a new one so that's out of the question. And as it turns out I've been considering starting a blog for ages now...and when isn't a better time to start a blog than after 3 glasses of wine and a Grey's high?
If this first post doesn't make any sense at all...well please just disregard it...
Anyway...let's start with the voice over.
"When something beging we generally have no idea how it's going to end. The house you were going to sell becomes your home. The roommates you were forced to take in become your family. And the one night stand you were determined to forget becomes the love of your life.... Did you say it? I love you. I don't ever want to live without you, you changed my life. Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal, work toward it. But every now and then look around. Drink it in. Because...this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow."
And that right there sums up this episode for me. In a nutshell, that's it. That whole entire episode was...I could go on for hours, I really could. But I won't because it's 2 in the morning and tomorrow is an excellent day for writing so I need sleep but I just needed to blog tonight. Not every pist on this blog will be about Grey's but this one needed to be. Because that episode was something else. It was one of those episodes that touched me deep down...somewhere, and shook me hard. It was one of those episodes that make me desperately crave wanting to be a writer because it makes me want to make other people feel an iota of what I'm feeling right now.
That episode is why 101 episodes into this crazy ride, Grey's Anatomy is still one of the top show on television.
And I will probably post more in depth stuff about specific plot lines tomorrow since I have the day off and I fully plan on rewatching...but for now, I have two points to me that have nothing to do with the show and everything to do with me personally and things that the show makes come alive within me (which is why I love this show so fucking much in the first place)
1) I refuse to get married until I get what Derek and Meredith has. Not the one night stand or the ex-wife, or the vet or the...well you know the list. But that. Tonight. That all that craziness was going on and all Meredith wanted to do was marry Derek. She didn't want to waste another day, she didn't want to worry about it all being gone, she just wanted to marry Derek because that was all she wanted. And it wasn't about the wedding. It was about THEM being sworn to eachother FOREVER. So she was okay that it was unofficial, that it was just them, alone in the locker room, writing vows on a post it note to put up in her locker. In the grand scheme of the world, those 5 minutes meant nothing and no one else will ever recognize them. But they did. In those five minutes they promised each other...everything. And that was what mattered to them. That was all they wanted to do on the day of craziness. And for them that was enough for it to be a marriage. And isn't that what marriage is supposed to be? It's not about the crazy dresses and food and dancing and all that. It's about promising to be there when the other person gets old and senile and stinky. And quite frankly...until I find a man that I'd be willing to marry in a locker room, in a ceremony that's not recognized by anyone but us, I don't want to get married.
2) About that man...there's this guy. There has been this guy for as long as I can remember. He's just been there. And I've been in love with him. Always. And I've never said a word. EVER. Because I'm a big ass chicken shit. But that episode, that closing voiceover, it made me think. It made me think a lot and now, I just want to say it. I desperatel ywant to tell him but I have no idea how because the truth is, we're not even that close anymore. But really, maybe HE'LL get dragged by a bus and I'll have him ripped out of my life (because as much as we're not close, he is still part of my life, this huge and yet tiny part of my life) and then I'll have to live with never telling him. Which is...insane. But I don't know how to say it. So I'll say it here. *Deep breath* I love you. I don't know if you're reading this or if you even know it's you that I'm talking about but I love you. And I may never say it to your face but there it is. Out there in the universe. I love you. I have loved you since the moment I met you, and while I have no idea what my life has in store (that whole not knowing where a beginning is going to end thing from the start of the episode) I am quite certain that I will always love you. Such is my existence on this planet.
Seriously, though people, (not that that wasn't serious) if you're reading this right now...go tell someone you love that you love them. Anyone. I made a point of telling my friends tonight. And god, I wish I could tell the guy. But just say it. Say it because you never know when it's going to be too late.
God, I love when Grey's makes me think this much.
Total total win.
And now I should sleep. I really should. Because it's important and all that jazz and tomorrow is room cleaning and writing and rewatching and I'll definitely make some time to post. And maybe introduce myself in case people who don't know me stumble upon this.
PS. On the topic of love...I also love Patrick Dempsey.
If this first post doesn't make any sense at all...well please just disregard it...
Anyway...let's start with the voice over.
"When something beging we generally have no idea how it's going to end. The house you were going to sell becomes your home. The roommates you were forced to take in become your family. And the one night stand you were determined to forget becomes the love of your life.... Did you say it? I love you. I don't ever want to live without you, you changed my life. Did you say it? Make a plan. Set a goal, work toward it. But every now and then look around. Drink it in. Because...this is it. It might all be gone tomorrow."
And that right there sums up this episode for me. In a nutshell, that's it. That whole entire episode was...I could go on for hours, I really could. But I won't because it's 2 in the morning and tomorrow is an excellent day for writing so I need sleep but I just needed to blog tonight. Not every pist on this blog will be about Grey's but this one needed to be. Because that episode was something else. It was one of those episodes that touched me deep down...somewhere, and shook me hard. It was one of those episodes that make me desperately crave wanting to be a writer because it makes me want to make other people feel an iota of what I'm feeling right now.
That episode is why 101 episodes into this crazy ride, Grey's Anatomy is still one of the top show on television.
And I will probably post more in depth stuff about specific plot lines tomorrow since I have the day off and I fully plan on rewatching...but for now, I have two points to me that have nothing to do with the show and everything to do with me personally and things that the show makes come alive within me (which is why I love this show so fucking much in the first place)
1) I refuse to get married until I get what Derek and Meredith has. Not the one night stand or the ex-wife, or the vet or the...well you know the list. But that. Tonight. That all that craziness was going on and all Meredith wanted to do was marry Derek. She didn't want to waste another day, she didn't want to worry about it all being gone, she just wanted to marry Derek because that was all she wanted. And it wasn't about the wedding. It was about THEM being sworn to eachother FOREVER. So she was okay that it was unofficial, that it was just them, alone in the locker room, writing vows on a post it note to put up in her locker. In the grand scheme of the world, those 5 minutes meant nothing and no one else will ever recognize them. But they did. In those five minutes they promised each other...everything. And that was what mattered to them. That was all they wanted to do on the day of craziness. And for them that was enough for it to be a marriage. And isn't that what marriage is supposed to be? It's not about the crazy dresses and food and dancing and all that. It's about promising to be there when the other person gets old and senile and stinky. And quite frankly...until I find a man that I'd be willing to marry in a locker room, in a ceremony that's not recognized by anyone but us, I don't want to get married.
2) About that man...there's this guy. There has been this guy for as long as I can remember. He's just been there. And I've been in love with him. Always. And I've never said a word. EVER. Because I'm a big ass chicken shit. But that episode, that closing voiceover, it made me think. It made me think a lot and now, I just want to say it. I desperatel ywant to tell him but I have no idea how because the truth is, we're not even that close anymore. But really, maybe HE'LL get dragged by a bus and I'll have him ripped out of my life (because as much as we're not close, he is still part of my life, this huge and yet tiny part of my life) and then I'll have to live with never telling him. Which is...insane. But I don't know how to say it. So I'll say it here. *Deep breath* I love you. I don't know if you're reading this or if you even know it's you that I'm talking about but I love you. And I may never say it to your face but there it is. Out there in the universe. I love you. I have loved you since the moment I met you, and while I have no idea what my life has in store (that whole not knowing where a beginning is going to end thing from the start of the episode) I am quite certain that I will always love you. Such is my existence on this planet.
Seriously, though people, (not that that wasn't serious) if you're reading this right now...go tell someone you love that you love them. Anyone. I made a point of telling my friends tonight. And god, I wish I could tell the guy. But just say it. Say it because you never know when it's going to be too late.
God, I love when Grey's makes me think this much.
Total total win.
And now I should sleep. I really should. Because it's important and all that jazz and tomorrow is room cleaning and writing and rewatching and I'll definitely make some time to post. And maybe introduce myself in case people who don't know me stumble upon this.
PS. On the topic of love...I also love Patrick Dempsey.
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